A Sentiment

God knew what He was doing when He sent a gentle breeze and brought a lovely butterfly to set my heart at ease. The happiness of your friendship and the gentleness of your words have touched my life in special ways and now I feel assured. Thank you for your loyalty and for reading everyday. I only hope you find things to make a happy day.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

A Decision

It was a perfect day yesterday. Perfect for cleaning up the yard. I've been having trouble with my low back and knew that I would have to take it easy. I tried to think of things that I could do either standing or sitting in my chair. I could cut the dead vines from the Clematis. So I set to work doing that. All I had to do was stand there and use my scissors and clippers and give them a haircut. That went along very well...no problem. Then I got my chair and set to work cutting the dead mums away to reveal little new green mums thickly growing under the cover of dead material. (This is the way I do mums and they come back every year. I leave the plants alone in the fall and wait till spring to clean them up. That leaves a kind of mulch on the top when the snow covers them.) I used my Fiskars shears for this job. I felt that I could go on, but remembering the pain I had been in...I stopped. I took the lawn cart (with just this dead material so it was a light load) back and dumped it. Then I decided to call it a day and sit on the porch.
Just this little bit of work was a little too much for me. When I got up out of a chair...I got that familiar twinge. So, that's when I made the decision. For this year...I am definitely going to cut down. I fretted about it all afternoon. How would I give up something that I looked forward to all winter? This has been my passion for countless years....always giving me a time to think. I do my best thinking while I garden. I can go out into the garden and just forget everything...meditate, pray, enjoy the little creatures in my yard, all while tidying up my "plot" Each year finds me trying new things.....seeing something in some one's yard and wanting to have it.....being out before the birds...early morning is the best.
Later, I made a decision...I was in bed last night and I couldn't get to sleep. That order of lilies was on my mind. There's no way I can plant them this year. So, I got up and came in here and got on the computer and cancelled the order. They were scheduled for April delivery and hopefully they will let me cancel. If not, I will donate them to our Church for the Grotto garden.

I am a very patient woman for the most part. I can do a tiny little project and just take my time until I am satisfied with how it turns out. I am patient in my relationships with people. Waiting in heavy traffic doesn't bother me at all. I am not bothered waiting in lines at the store. I've been patient watching children. I guess I need to learn patience in gardening. There are little branches all over the front gardens.. from the River Birch. Joe says we'll ask the kids next door to pick them up. I would like it done now...I want the gardens to look tidy when flowers come popping up...not messy with sticks all over. I can ask the lawn mower man to help with the woods. If we wait much longer ...he will step on all the little wildflowers that I planted last fall. What is it that drives me...is it perfection that I want? I guess I'll have to examine this trait of mine.Either that or put blinders on when I go out the door :)


Barbee' said...

Oh, Balisha, my heart goes out to you, for I have had that same predicament for several years now. I won't list all the decisions I have had to make in that time. The most recent one being whether to remodel the 1955 kitchen or move house (as my friends in England say). Nothing ever opened up to encourage us to move; it was as if the answer was "No". So... now we are having all the cabinets and everything torn out and doing a new start-over. Then I think: but, how will I manage the yard, I can hardly bathe and dress myself! It just seemed the answer was: it isn't time, yet. I should have more faith. But, I want to cry. Yesterday, we (husband and I) strolled estate. He took about 40 photos in our early spring.

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Right there with you. I moved to the woods to have a trail to my smaller home and very little manicuring. I have not done as planned. I work outside everyday that it is nice. I cannot keep doing this....
Every day I pray for wisdom and the ability to pace myself and not go in a rush Iike I do.
Just got off of the lawn tractor..

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Thank you again for my wonderful book. I taped your label inside and dated the book :)

Margie's Musings said...

Balisha, I know exactly what you mean. I have a Weeping Willow in my back yard and it drops little sticks all over my back yard. Now I have to get out there and pick them up before the mowing season.

I wonder how much yard work I am going to be able to do this year.

Balisha said...

Barbee...I hear you. As they say, "Old age ain't for sissys."We have thought of moving into a condo, but feel that we will just stay here and hire someone to do the difficult things. I can't imagine packing up this house and the work involved in a move. It would probably kill us.
So here we stay...and you are getting a new kitchen.How wonderful. I hope that maybe you post some of those pictures on your blog. I guess we could both take the time to enjoy the many blessings that we have in our homes and gardens. Have a lovely day.

garden girl said...

I feel for you, Balisha. Gardening can be strenuous, and hard on those bones and joints. I can imagine how hard it must be not being able to keep up as in the past.

My mom has a lot of trouble with her back too, and it definitely limits how much time she can spend in the garden. I have tendinitis in my elbows and wrists, and some days it puts a damper on gardening. It can be frustrating, when there's so much I want to do.

Jan at Love It said...

I think you need to take some time for Balisha and possibly do some yoga so you can continue doing what you love to do in the garden!

Balisha said...

Hi Ernestine...I find and maybe you do too...that I'll do a few chores and then hear a little voice saying, "Go ahead...you can do more." I think we have to learn to ignore that voice and stop.The secret as you say is pacing ourselves and I think...learning to live with imperfections. Enjoy your day...Balisha

Balisha said...

Hi Margie...Weeping willows are so beautiful, but can be messy, I know. With all the other work you do, I wonder how you have the energy to do gardening. Take care, Balisha

Balisha said...

Hi Linda and Jan,
Gosh, it seems that many of us have "hurts" when we do too much gardening...even the younger gals. I just recently started doing yoga. I find it very relaxing and it is making me stretch those sometimes stiff muscles and tendons. It's a gentle workout and is probably doing my back some good. Have a great day.

Balisha said...

Hi again Ernestine,
I ordered that little book from Amazon...they only offered a used book. I started reading it and thought of you and how you live... each time I turned the page.I sent it on to you without finishing it and then ordered another from Amazon. I didn't know if you had a copy, but took the chance that you hadn't read it. I hope you enjoy it.

judemiller1 said...

I am so sorry that you have to cut back on the gardening. I so remember when the very same thing happened to me a couple years ago. It is heart breaking to realize there are just some things we can no longer do unless we want to suffer back pains for days afterwards. I want to plant strawberry plants, a few tomatoes and come annuals this year--then I realized--I will have hip surgery and won't be able to bend over at all for 2 months. Makes me want to cry!!!!! Maybe if it stays warm, I can get the plants in BEFORE the surgery date? Hoping, always hoping. Having to give up doing things I love makes me sad!