It was a perfect day yesterday. Perfect for cleaning up the yard. I've been having trouble with my low back and knew that I would have to take it easy. I tried to think of things that I could do either standing or sitting in my chair. I could cut the dead vines from the Clematis. So I set to work doing that. All I had to do was stand there and use my scissors and clippers and give them a haircut. That went along very well...no problem. Then I got my chair and set to work cutting the dead mums away to reveal little new green mums thickly growing under the cover of dead material. (This is the way I do mums and they come back every year. I leave the plants alone in the fall and wait till spring to clean them up. That leaves a kind of mulch on the top when the snow covers them.) I used my Fiskars shears for this job. I felt that I could go on, but remembering the pain I had been in...I stopped. I took the lawn cart (with just this dead material so it was a light load) back and dumped it. Then I decided to call it a day and sit on the porch.
Just this little bit of work was a little too much for me. When I got up out of a chair...I got that familiar twinge. So, that's when I made the decision. For this year...I am definitely going to cut down. I fretted about it all afternoon. How would I give up something that I looked forward to all winter? This has been my passion for countless years....always giving me a time to think. I do my best thinking while I garden. I can go out into the garden and just forget everything...meditate, pray, enjoy the little creatures in my yard, all while tidying up my "plot" Each year finds me trying new things.....seeing something in some one's yard and wanting to have it.....being out before the birds...early morning is the best.
Later, I made a decision...I was in bed last night and I couldn't get to sleep. That order of lilies was on my mind. There's no way I can plant them this year. So, I got up and came in here and got on the computer and cancelled the order. They were scheduled for April delivery and hopefully they will let me cancel. If not, I will donate them to our Church for the Grotto garden.
I am a very patient woman for the most part. I can do a tiny little project and just take my time until I am satisfied with how it turns out. I am patient in my relationships with people. Waiting in heavy traffic doesn't bother me at all. I am not bothered waiting in lines at the store. I've been patient watching children. I guess I need to learn patience in gardening. There are little branches all over the front gardens.. from the River Birch. Joe says we'll ask the kids next door to pick them up. I would like it done now...I want the gardens to look tidy when flowers come popping up...not messy with sticks all over. I can ask the lawn mower man to help with the woods. If we wait much longer ...he will step on all the little wildflowers that I planted last fall. What is it that drives me...is it perfection that I want? I guess I'll have to examine this trait of mine.Either that or put blinders on when I go out the door :)