A Sentiment

God knew what He was doing when He sent a gentle breeze and brought a lovely butterfly to set my heart at ease. The happiness of your friendship and the gentleness of your words have touched my life in special ways and now I feel assured. Thank you for your loyalty and for reading everyday. I only hope you find things to make a happy day.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Coming Back

Coming back. It's been less than a week and here I am again. I've been really trying to pay attention to myself through all of this. I've always been there for my family, husband and others...I feel that I need some taking care of this time. So, saying that...I've tried to stay away from negativity. If a particular person brings me down...I am just ignoring that person. It may seem heartless, but my mind is muddled enough without that behavior. 
The nation's news is so terrible right now...I just turn it off and find something pleasant to do. 
I'm glad that it is cooler...my throw on the couch is comforting to me somehow. 
A hot shower can do wonders. 
We are eating out a little more and I am making comfort food here at home. Nothing spicy ..just comforting.
My day in the garden...planting rose bushes and a lilac... day before yesterday... was great therapy. I think that nature can calm us and bring pleasant thoughts to mind. 
Trying to plan something of a memorial in my garden...so I can think of him when I am doing what makes me happy. 
Cards are coming in....some have made me cry. I think that crying is a good thing. It is a release for me. 
One day I did really deep cleaning. Taking out my frustrations on my house is one way to cope and be satisfied that something good came out of that frustration.
Just sitting on the porch and watching the birds is the best kind of time for me. 
Having a hard time concentrating on reading...so poetry comes to the rescue.
A friend gave me some art projects quite a while ago...I finished them...I can get lost in artwork
My kids and Joe's kids constant phone calls, emails and plans to get together this weekend.. are helping us all.
Online Scrabble game with my daughter and Yahtzee game with youngest son...tells me that life must go on. Tim wouldn't want us grieving too much. 
Going to Mass and Joe telling me that he bought a memorial stone for Tim...for the Grotto...gave me some joy.
Joe encouraging me to go for drives in the evening    have also helped.
Filling the freezer with muffins and bar cookies is a plan for today. Muffins are comforting too. 
and then....rereading all of the comments left here for the past many days has helped me so much. 
I can't thank you enough...
Balisha

18 comments:

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Balisha, you have not left my thoughts and prayers. Just returned from errands and checked on you. Take care, Love, Ernestine

Jan said...

Sending love to you and all your family. It sounds like you're taking things one day at a time... a good plan. Jx

Judy said...

I like the idea of a memorial tree or plant or stepping stone in your garden. Reading will be difficult for awhile--it takes too much concentration. The mind feels a bit foggy. A loss of the sense of time during the day. Hope you are sleeping all right. Crying? My Pastor said it was good--it cleanses us. I have a hard time crying--it gives me a headache too, but I know that it is important. Don't hide any of your feelings. Maybe someday, a grief support group at your church or sponsored by a church would help. In my group, I had four couples who's child had died--it really helped them. God is close!! Love you--

Margie's Musings said...

Oh Balisha! I am so glad to see you back blogging. I have wondered how you are doing. The suggestion of a memorial in the garden you love so much is great.

God is very near. God will bring you comfort...and friends...friends are God's way of reaching you.

Noelle said...

Oh Balisha,

You have been in my prayers. I am so glad that you are taking care of yourself too :-)

Noelle

Sharon said...

Simple routine tasks are comforting, as are our favorite foods. You and Joe are taking care of each other. God bless you both ~

Cindy said...

Balisha,
I have been reading your blog for several months now but have never commented. I just want to let you know how very sorry I am for your loss and I have been remembering your son, and you and your family as I say my Divine Mercy Chaplets. Thank you for your blog, it has brought me much enjoyment.
God Bless You,
Cindy

debra @ homespun said...

Just sending love and caring..it's all that I can do ( I don't think trying to find good words will help so just sending my heart :)

Pat said...

I am so glad to see you back...you have been on my mind this past week. I believe a memorial in your garden is a wonderful idea.

Blondie's Journal said...

Balisha, the most touching thing you said is that after always taking care of everyone else, you are finally taking care of yourself. That to me, would be the best thing in the world you can do. And it sounds like you are off to a good start.

After my father passed away 2 years ago, I went back to blogging after a short while, just as I did with reading and cooking and cleaning and as much of my daily routine as possible. He never left my mind but I found such comfort in being in my "normal", safe, comfortable world.

Sending you many prayers and much love and peace.

XO,
Jane

Judy said...

Your blog title says it all. There was--Never Enough Time--to spend with our loved ones who have passed on before us.

Barbee' said...

Welcome back, dear friend.

Margie's Musings said...

I lost Bob, my husband of 57 years three years ago today.

I remember the grief. I pray you will be comforted.

Gardener on Sherlock Street said...

Take care of you too!
[hug]

Donna said...

My heart is broken for you, Balisha. I just read about your loss on Claudia's blog. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family right now... I am so, so sorry...

Donna

Diane said...

So very sorry.

gardenbug said...

I planted a small garden for my infant grandson who passed away in 2008. It was a pleasure to plan, and remains a pleasure to tend. My daughter planted an apple tree for her small son. Both gardens bring delight. It may take time to plan, but I hope it becomes a reality for you too.

Christys Cottage Wildlife Garden said...

So glad that you are doing just a bit better. I've always said "time heals all wounds" and I truly believe it. I think it great to have a good cry...