This is so hard to write about, but I am going to put this in my blog...because I want to remember my feelings about so many things..later in my life.My Mother's day started with phone calls and lots of love and gifts. We planned to go to visit Tim later in the morning. I was hoping for a change for the better for him. We got to the hospital after almost 2 hrs. drive and went to his room. He was able to speak better and said that he knew it was Mother's Day. We were able to talk and share memories of Mother's Days past...when he and his brother and sister were little. The one Mother's Day memory that I love is when the three of them brought me breakfast in bed. I am not such a fan of grape jelly, but the kids always liked it. They did the breakfast all on their own .....a big glass of grape juice and two pieces of toast full of grape jelly. The smiles on their faces as they came in with the tray could melt a mother's heart. They were so proud of their tray of food. I think that LuAnn was the one who did most of the work....Tim kept trying to eat my food and little John was just in kindergarten. I reminded Tim of this event and we had a laugh over it.
We were there....his wife Renee, and grandson, Anthony, and Joe and me. The kidney specialist came in first and said that his kidneys still weren't functioning and they would remove the catheter. After he left the internist, who is Tim's main doctor, came in and started to talk. He called it a family meeting. Then he gave us the bad news. He looked at Tim and told him that he was going to be moved to another facility for palliative care. He said that Tim has only a little time left. He won't live longer than 6 months. I can hardly finish this right now...they will have a meeting this morning to talk about his care and what facility he will go to. He will h ave what the doctor called supportive care. After he left and we shed tears, I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach...I just couldn't swallow. Tim had a couple of tears in his eyes and wouldn't look at any of us...just up at the ceiling. I got myself together and told Tim that our family would make this the best 6 months that we can.I don't know what we can do to accomplish that, but whatever we need to do..we will.
It was so hard to leave...knowing that he was there with his thoughts. He wanted us to go...said that he wanted the catheter removed and that he was tired. Sleep didn't come easy last night and this morning all I can think of is him.
I wondered in the early morning hours...whether to write this post or not...but after all the encouraging prayers and comments about him getting better...I just felt that I needed to share this. I make my blog into books each year and this is the way that I can keep my thoughts about him to read again and again.Please continue your prayers....it is so important right now.All that can save him is a miracle.