A Sentiment

God knew what He was doing when He sent a gentle breeze and brought a lovely butterfly to set my heart at ease. The happiness of your friendship and the gentleness of your words have touched my life in special ways and now I feel assured. Thank you for your loyalty and for reading everyday. I only hope you find things to make a happy day.

Monday, May 13, 2013

An Update

This is so hard to write about, but I am going to put this in my blog...because I want to remember my feelings  about so many things..later in my life.My Mother's day started with phone calls and lots of love and gifts. We planned to go to visit Tim later in the morning. I was hoping for a change for the better for him. We got to the hospital after almost 2 hrs. drive and went to his room. He was able to speak better and said that he knew it was Mother's Day. We were able to talk and share memories of Mother's Days past...when he and his brother and sister were little. The one Mother's Day memory that I love is when the three of them brought me breakfast in bed. I am not such a fan of grape jelly, but the kids always liked it. They did the breakfast all on their own .....a big glass of grape juice and two pieces of toast full of grape jelly. The smiles on their faces as they came in with the tray could melt a mother's heart. They were so proud of their tray of food. I think that LuAnn was the one who did most of the work....Tim kept trying to eat my food and little John was just  in kindergarten. I reminded Tim of this event and we had a laugh over it. 
We were there....his wife Renee, and grandson, Anthony, and Joe and me. The kidney specialist came in first and said that his kidneys still weren't functioning and they would remove the catheter. After he left the internist, who is Tim's main doctor, came in and started to talk. He called it a family meeting. Then he gave us the bad news. He looked at Tim and told him that he was going to be moved to another facility for palliative care. He said that Tim has only a little time left. He won't live longer than 6 months. I can hardly finish this right now...they will have a meeting this morning to talk about his care and what facility he will go to. He will h ave what the doctor called supportive care. After he left and we shed tears, I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach...I just couldn't swallow. Tim had a couple of tears in his eyes and wouldn't look at any of us...just up at the ceiling. I got myself together and  told Tim that our family would make this the best 6 months that we can.I don't know what we can do to accomplish that, but whatever we need to do..we will.
It was so hard to leave...knowing that he was there with his thoughts. He wanted us to go...said that he wanted the catheter removed and that he was tired. Sleep didn't come easy last night and this morning all I can think of is him. 
I wondered in the early morning hours...whether to write this post or not...but after all the encouraging prayers and comments about him getting better...I just felt that I needed to share this. I make my blog into books each year and this is the way that I can keep my thoughts about him to read again and again.Please continue your prayers....it is so important right now.All that can save him is a miracle. 


Barbee' said...

Balisha, this is a shock after all the prayers - and we thought he was gradually getting better. Of course we will continue with our prayers, for all of you. I'm glad you and Joe were there with Tim's family when the doctor came in. I think it is commendable of you to share this and such courage it must have taken to write. Know that we will be sad with you.

From the Kitchen said...

I cannot imagine your anguish right now. My heart goes out to all of you and especially to Tim. I pray that you will find a way to make the coming months very special with times of comfort and joy. Miracles do happen though and I wish one for your family.


Daphne Bryson said...

Dear Balisha, I am so very, very, sorry to hear the news about Tim.
I will continue to pray for you all. You are in my thoughts.
With warmest wishes

debra @ homespun said...

Oh, Balisha :(

I am not going to say anything right now but I am shedding tears with you

debra @ homespun said...

Oh, Balisha :(

I am not going to say anything right now but I am shedding tears with you

Little Bitty Damn Houze said...


Continued prayers for your son and your family. God has the final word. I pray that you continue to have the strength to make it throught this difficult time. God Bless you and Be with you always.

Sharon said...

There are no words...You and your family will continue to be in my prayers. I think you are courageous to share your journey.

Christys Cottage Wildlife Garden said...

Dear Balisha...I am so, so sorry to hear this news. But....I DO believe in miracles...I've had miracles in my life. You will know what to do to make Tim's time happy....just being with his family probably makes him happy. I'm glad you updated us blogging friends. Know that you and your family remain in my thoughts and prayers.

Cape Cod Kitty said...

Dear Balisha,
I am so sorry to read the news about Tim and what you and your family are going through. Your wonderful spirit shone through by gathering yourself enough to say you would make this time the very best it can be. That is really all any of us can do, under the best of circumstances, in our lives. I am sure you will make it wonderful.
Sending you thoughts and prayers for peace and comfort.

Jean said...

Balisha I am so sorry to hear of Tim's illness. God is still in control and He will be who decides when it's his time to go. I pray for peace for you and your family. God bless you and hang in there!

Margie's Musings said...

Balisha, i am so sorry. I was so in hopes he was going to improve and get well.

I cannot imagine what you must feel right now. Of course, I continue to have you and your family and Tim in my prayers.

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Difficult to find words. My heart and prayers are with you..

acorn hollow said...

I can't imangine how hard this is to write let alone face. He is still in my prayers daily.
I was so happy when you said there was progress. I am so very sorry and I will keep praying for him.
thinks of you

Judy said...

I don't know what to say, but I do know I will continue to pray. I am just shocked and heart broken and know how I would feel if it were one of my children. It seems very unfair! God will give you all the knowledge you need to make Tim's time here as happy as it can be. 6 months are just doctor's words--don't look ahead at the calendar.

Gardener on Sherlock Street said...

Make every moment the best you can but don't give up hope. You never know what might come your way.

susie @ persimmon moon cottage said...

I am sorry to hear this sad news. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Noelle said...

Oh Balisha,

I just sat down and started reading your recent blog posts. I am so sorry to hear about your son, Tim. I know how painful it is to lose a loved one, but can't imagine how much harder it is when it is your child.

I know that when people feel powerless, they say, "All we can do is pray." But that is the most powerful thing as you know. I am holding you, Tim, his wife, sons and the rest of your family in my prayers.


Sally Crowe said...

I'm very sorry to hear this about your precious son, Tim. My prayers are with him, and each one of you.

Nancy said...

Oh my, this is such sad news. I am going for my morning walk and will be praying for your son and your family.

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

Balisha dear, I read this last night and could not even write an answer. My heart is breaking for you. I know your pain. I would give anything if I could do something to save Tim and to take your hurt away. I am sorrier than I can say.
My thoughts, my prayers and wishing this all was not so ...once again..there just are no words!

Cape Cod Kitty said...

Continuing to hold you and all your family in my heart and prayers, Balisha. May you have the strength you need each day and the ease to have restful sleep at night, gentle soul!

Patty said...

I'm so sorry Balisha. How do you make your blogs into books? What program do you use?