A Sentiment

God knew what He was doing when He sent a gentle breeze and brought a lovely butterfly to set my heart at ease. The happiness of your friendship and the gentleness of your words have touched my life in special ways and now I feel assured. Thank you for your loyalty and for reading everyday. I only hope you find things to make a happy day.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

I Couldn't find the Words

I sit here right now trying to find the words. During the night my head was full of poetry. I was trying to write a poem about the tragedy in Connecticut. Nothing would come. Then this morning, it was time to go to Mass. I walked into the Church and vowed to just leave my sorrow there. The manger had been put up since I was last there...it is one of my favorite things for the Christmas season. I love seeing it, minus the babe, with the Angel on the top of the brick wall just behind. The star isn't lit yet...waiting for Christmas Eve. I went alone, because Joe had to go last night. I found a place to sit in "our" row. The pianist played a medley of Christmas songs, so beautiful,  and the service started. I was starting to feel in the spirit, so to speak. When it was time for the homily...our Priest started talking about the shooting and how tragic it was...but then he went into some his political views. It spoiled the rest of the service for me.I don't often feel this way at Mass and I would never complain about it to people whom I have never met, but today I wanted more. More words of comfort...more words to tell us how this can happen. How can our Lord allow innocent children to be slaughtered? I needed answers....we all need answers.I think that  God is closest to us when we are asking why then perhaps any other time in our lives. We are sometimes told that good will come out of this. Maybe some new laws and regulations will be studied, maybe foundations will be set up in memory of these victims to help many, many, people. Maybe mental health will be looked at and changes will be made in caring for the  mentally ill.. Maybe we will become more involved with our fellow man...and seek out these troubled souls to help them. I really believe that the stigma of mental illness has to be looked at with different eyes. Our state just closed a mental health facility in Rockford. They are pleading the case for reopening this facility on Jan. 10th. I do hope that this tragedy is fresh in the eyes of the powers that be. We need places for the troubled to get help.We can find the money somewhere. I have faith...the belief that this tragedy will have something  good coming from it. There's that word Faith...I use it all the time.
I looked up...what is Faith? The definition is  Strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof. I just have to trust that my Faith in God will help me now. None of us really know...we simply have to trust.
Well, I came home from Mass and decided not to turn on the news today. We'll have a typical Sunday for us. We'll read the paper, maybe watch the football game, talk on the phone to our kids, I'll prepare a nice meal and we will try to clear our heads of this tragedy....for just a day.
God bless us all,

Wow...I just reread this before publishing and it sounds so preachy...Oh, well, these are things that are going around in  my old gray head this morning. Please bear with me...I'll be back tomorrow with something more upbeat.


Margie's Musings said...

Balisha, my understanding of God is different from yours. Maybe it will help. I don't believe God "allows" these tragedies. I don't believe God interferes with our world. I believe God suffers with us when these tragedies happen.

They are the results of terrible bad choices. God attempts to reach us to influence us toward the good but when we exercise our free agency and decide we will act selfishly to act out our own disappointments and feelings of revenge, God can only grieve.

If God could prevent such terrible actions, and did not, God would not be worthy of our worship. The holocaust happened...terrible evil. War happens...and these terrible killings happen, not because God allows them but because God will not violate our free agency.

But God does God's best to influence us toward the good. God does not coerce us. God attempts to persuade us instead.

Barbee' said...

This is the saddest Christmas I have ever known.

~Gardener on Sherlock Street said...

We all need to take care of each other.

Balisha said...

In answer to Margie's comment. I don't think that God does evil,man does evil.We have free will. My God is a loving God.
I saw a Priest on TV this aftenoon who said he believes that God was there at the children's last moments to comfort them.
I don't know...we could discuss this forever...I don't see that we are so far apart, Margie. The fact is that no one knows the answer.We can only have faith that there is a Heaven and these little ones are there now.

DEBRA said...

No it did not sound preachy and we all have had these thoughts and feeling and sorrow...because you are such a good writer I came to visit to read your thoughts.

I saw faith on Sunday night, though...when I watched the vigil over the internet. That is faith. Everyone is still coming together under one God, though different faiths or interpretations of their religious views. That is what I saw and I was comforted. So what went on in Newtown at the interfaith vigil was a comfort. Imagine them comforting us as we hope or wish we could comfort them.....

judemiller1 said...

I loved your thoughts and much the same as mine. The prayer vigil was beautiful--we all worship the same God. The God of Abraham--the muslims through Ishmael and the Jews and Christians through Issac. I wish we could all be so united during "normal" times. Our society is so broken--gun laws won't prevent killings, mental health needs to be discussed, violent video games and movies, the turning away from God. God didn't cause this, evil did and evil is alive and well in our world. Satan roams amongst us, roaring like a lion, seeking to kill and destroy.