I'm going to try to keep a sort of journal here until I have my surgery on the 2nd. I thought I would tell what it's like to be perfectly healthy one minute and then have everything changed in my health overnight. We went to bed on Thursday night...just like any night and during the early morning hours, I had a grand mal seizure. Joe is a retired registered nurse and he took charge...calling the paramedics at once. Suddenly our bedroom was full of about 7 or 8 paramedics. They examined me and thought it best to take me to the hospital. Joe followed in the car. I have no memory of the trip there or my 3 hours in the emergency room. I was admitted and was taken to my room. I don't remember who was there other than Joe. I was told that I had a CT scan and an MRI. The funny thing is....I remember the MRI. I guess because people make so much of this test and I have always dreaded having one. To tell you the truth...I slept off and on during the noisy test. A tumor was found through testing and will be removed on the 2nd. My kids rallied around and supported me as did Joe's boys. Flowers, balloons, teddy bears etc. were enjoyed. Finally it was time to go home and I was ready for it. My stay at the hospital is sketchy...probably due to the medications. The thing that I wanted to tell here is how it feels to lose control of your life. Other people making the decisions...thinking for you. People talking behind your back. This can't be helped, I know....but when you've been so strong and self sufficient all your life, it's hard to give in and let others help. This is the way it will be till I'm finished with this crisis. I am glad that I have people who want to take care of me and who will deal with my emotion's. I guess that I won't be doing much gardening for the rest of the year. My yard will have to manage without the caretaker. I was so looking forward to fall this year and had plans to change things around a bit. I guess that I should count my blessings and forget the yardwork for one season.