A Sentiment

God knew what He was doing when He sent a gentle breeze and brought a lovely butterfly to set my heart at ease. The happiness of your friendship and the gentleness of your words have touched my life in special ways and now I feel assured. Thank you for your loyalty and for reading everyday. I only hope you find things to make a happy day.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

My Heart's Not In It

I went out this morning, seeing that there were clouds in the sky, hoping that I could get a little cleanup done. My heart wasn't in it though...my heart was in Elgin... with my dear friends. I've written about them before, they were the couple who introduced Joe and I and stood up for us at our wedding. He's been suffering from Parkinson's disease for a long time now. We visited a couple of Sundays ago and he was very bad. Nancy, his wife, has taken care of him for such a long time. Tending to his every need. It's so hard to see this when my life has been so carefree these past few years. I have felt guilty telling my friend the fun things that I do...when she has taken on this task that God gave her. I'm sure she goes through her day remembering her marriage vows..in sickness and in health...I've known them both for most of my life. We were in the same high school. They were school sweethearts...so fun loving and good together.We've raised our kids together. We've always had such fun with them. We've shared laughs and tears. So, today she is having to talk to hospice. They are coming tomorrow to evaluate him. I'm sitting here crying right now...as I write this post. It's so hard to go on with my everyday tasks when someone I love is struggling so. The rain clouds parted long enough for me to cleanup around the mailbox. It started up again just as I finished...so I left the cart and chair there and ran to the house. I check my emails often, in case she's written anything. Joe had written an email to her...he had me read it before sending it...there were tears in his eyes. Oh, Lord...we are both so broken up by this....I can only imagine how their family is feeling. I wish I knew what to do to make it better.
The sky tells my mood today. I decided to give it up and come in to stay. The yard will get done this fall. I have so many sad things on my mind. I need comfort food. Grilled cheese and tomato soup for lunch today. It's something that my Mom always gave me when I was sick or unhappy. Balisha


Barbee' said...

This is a precious post, and now I have tears in my eyes. Prayers are on the way.

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

My dearest Balisha...this has hit so close to home. Patrick and I had two dear friends that were married the same year we were. We went to the same high school, raised our children together and have gone through so much together. I know when Patrick died it nearly killed them. When I finally remarried they were so supportive..and my dear friend flew out and stayed right beside me for over a month after my second husband, Frank, passed away.

And just recently they came to California and met my husband, Howard. The men hit it off right away..and were inseparable during their stay.
Friends like this are so hard to find. I am so sorry for you and fear fills my heart when either of my friends have any sort of illness. After losing Patrick, we became aware that any one of us could be next.
I am beginning to lose friends more and more it seems.
My heart goes out to you and Joe.
Keep us posted how your friends are doing. I am just so very sorry.

I know, and I cannot help this, but when I hear "Hospice" it chills me to the core. Hospice came when Frank was ill and it was so hard.
I thought I would never stop crying.
Do take care. I wish I could do something.
Much love,

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Balisha, I understand the sorrow.
I am so sorry. I know that not many months pass that someone I know passes away. At our age it will continue. A blessing for you to have this friendship for so many years...

Jean said...

I understand completely. It's very hard to have friends who are suffering and knowing the only thing you can do is pray and put them in God's Hands even when you want to do everything in your power to make it right again. Prayers for your friends and for you. God bless you all. Isn't tomato soup and sandwich a cure all for everything? I always thought so.

Balisha said...

Sometimes we feel so helpless. Women have always prepared food at times like this. I think it is the nurturing aspect of our being. We want things to be OK, but we just can't do anything big to make it that way.I guess that we just have to make ourselves available to our friends. Talking on the phone with someone comforting has always helped me... when I've been in this situation. A card or a container of chicken soup at the door are ways that women show concern.This blog helps me by letting me share my feelings with so many of you. We are all close...even though we've never met.

Lona said...

It is so hard to see those we love go through so much. I know that helpless feeling about wanting to help but not really being able to. I am sure your sharing your funny stories helps to give her heart a little respite. Just being there and sharing it will be a comfort.Friendships are so important at times like these.
Hugs, Lona