A Sentiment

God knew what He was doing when He sent a gentle breeze and brought a lovely butterfly to set my heart at ease. The happiness of your friendship and the gentleness of your words have touched my life in special ways and now I feel assured. Thank you for your loyalty and for reading everyday. I only hope you find things to make a happy day.

Monday, November 8, 2010

The Party's Over...Nov. 7, 2010

We divided our family dinners in two this year. There are too many to gather together at the same time. So, yesterday my side of the family was here. Joe's side will be on the 5th of Dec. We have approximately the same number for each dinner 12 -13. It turned out to be a nice day and everyone could come except Sydney...my Grand daughter. She is a college student and couldn't make it home for Thanksgiving and this dinner too. She was missed so much. We don't get to see her very often now. Grand daughter Xoie was able to be here. She has just moved back and we enjoyed having her with us again. My daughter, LuAnn, was able to make it from DC. She has a home in Wisconsin and will be there until Thursday. I always love having her here. Sons Tim and John and their families were here too. Tim is the jokester in the family and John is the baby of our family. Our good friend, Josh, was here and he manned the camera. He's a wonderful person and we love having him. These "kids" all love to tease each other and we laugh till our sides ache. We didn't get pictures of everyone...I was so busy getting the meal around and there was so much activity going on that pictures were a last thought....but when it came to dessert....all the young ones gathered around. Here are Collin and Tyler helping to light the candles. It was an ice cream cake and we had to work fast. Here's my daughter sitting at the table with a hammer in her hand. Tyler had just used the hammer to smash some Heath bars for the top of the cake. She somehow ended up with the tool. These pictures are of such poor quality...I really hated to put them here. They are grainy and so dark. I think it's time for another camera. We celebrated her birthday which is on the 18th. She was surprised.
Look how everyone gathers around the container of brownies. My son John, is in the background and daughter in law, Renee on the right side with her grandson, Anthony.

When it is time to light the candles...Collin offered to help. These pictures are out of sequence I just found out. Oh, well, you get the picture :)

The candles are pulled out and the dessert is ready to be served. It was an easy recipe and sugar free...LuAnn doesn't eat sugar. I made the brownies for the sugar lovers.

Our menu was lasagna, stuffed shells (2 kinds) spinach and mushroom, Italian green beans, relish tray, breadsticks, fruit salad, and dessert. Before dinner we had dips and chips, and deviled eggs, cheeses and crackers and various pickles and olives. The kids took food home and Joe and I will have leftovers today. All in all, it was a fun day. We spent most of it remembering the old days when my kids were little. Telling stories on each other and laughing. I told the grands that all the funny things happening to them today, will go down in family history and be told over and over again. It seems we always remember the stories that we sometimes wish others would forget. I'm going to try to say something here about second time around marriages and blended families. When we marry, after a spouse dies, we have so many memories of our previous marriage and the kids growing up... with another parent. It's good for a family to stay together and tell these old stories...the "new" spouse has to just sit and listen and learn about their spouse's past life. He or she, if they really listen, can get a feel about how things were with this family long ago. They have to respect their spouse and give them time with their family. Joe does this so well, with my kids. He doesn't say a whole lot, when we are reminiscing. He just listens. I try to do the same with his family. We both realize that there was a life before "us" and are considerate with each other. We still have time to enter in on conversations and share our stories with all. We are building memories too. If everyone is considerate of each other...the new memories will take on a life of their own.


Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

Good morning, Balisha!
And it really is a loving morning. It's raining out and that is my favorite time.
I could relate so completely with all you wrote. It is the first time I have gotten to see a bit of the inside of your home as well! So homey!
We do the same thing. Spit up our time between the families. Our children have still not met one another, however time is healing our rough start in this new marriage.
I have only been together for two years now. Our children are accepting of our new spouses..but not each other. All is going well..so perhaps it all will pass and we will have peace as you and Joe have.
Howard is doing much better with the tension lessened.
Your wonderful post gave me hope. We do with each others families as you do. We both listen and really enjoy the stories from past lives and times. It's a good thing...

I admit to a strange feeling of being ...out of place when listening at times..but I think this is normal as I am still new in the family. I think Howard feels the same.
Those times are necessary and we both know it and like you I learn a lot and Howard says the same thing.

Life goes on. We are fortunate, Balisha, to have found kind, good and caring men that love and accept our children and grands.
Hugs to you. :)
Oh...and as far as my "stuff" goes, it pretty much goes out the door to children.. :) sort of like you did when you and Joe first got together and you invited the children over to take what they wanted...but not all at once. Lots goes to the trunk of the car and when it is full, off it goes to Goodwill, which is often. It's a pastime and something we both enjoy doing..
More hugs!!

Barbee' said...

Oh, Balisha, that is so sweet!

Balisha said...

Thankyou Barbie...
Mona...We have been together with the whole family, but now it is such a lot of work and not so much fun for the one who hosts it. Our kids all really like each other, but they are all grown up and leading such busy lives...someone would get left out if we did it all at the same time. So we split it up. The little kids have done things fun together. Now our family is expanding with marriages and new babies, so this is how we do it.
I have learned so much about Joe and Sonja's life together by just listening. You really see the personalities come out...when the kids are comfortable enough to talk in front of you...the new spouse. By now, almost 8 years, most of our kids are comfortable with our situation. Give it time and you will probably feel like you are part of their "side"

Margie's Musings said...

You all are so brave to have started new families after losing a husband or wife. I cannot do that. I will just be satisfied to continue to grow old alone.

I'm happy you can be happy.

One Woman's Journey said...

Balisha, thank you for sharing.
Blessings sent to you this day.

Amber Star said...

I love the picture of your daughter with the hammer in her hand. Sort of like she is in deep thought about the whole age thing. However, you know that is probably just me projecting my thoughts onto her. :)

Balisha said...

I thought that I would share some of the pictures here. We had such a good time...that pictures were really forgotten. My daughter had the hammer after the boys smashed the heath bars for the topping for the dessert. We kind of passed it around the table. Someone asked for the recipe...I will post it later.
Margie...I never thought that I would marry again either. Almost 50 yrs. with one guy. But Joe came along and we just hit it off and still do. I am so happy and glad that I took the plunge. You never know what will happen in your life. Sometimes the least expected. Balisha