Why Do I Blog?

I have friends and family who say..."Why do you tell things in a blog? You certainly tell a lot about your life. I would never do that...I like my privacy." My first answer would be that we are all different and live different lives and have different paths to the end of our lives. I never knew that I enjoyed writing, before I started this blog. I have a reason for starting it other than wanting to keep a journal.The reason I started to some would be very personal...but I want to share it, in case it could help someone. My first husband was diagnosed with tongue cancer on the very day he was to have his retirement party. We were devastated. We had both looked forward to retirement, and now this. We started a life that we were unfamiliar with. We lived in Dr. offices and hospitals. Our days were filled with tending to this horrible disease. My daughter lived in DC and wanted to know more details about what was going on with us. She gifted us with a computer so we could be in touch. When the computer arrived on a snowy night, my husband said, "What are we going to do with that?" Our daughter arrived for the holidays and unpacked the boxes and hooked it up. We were connected to the world wide web now. I had a few days of instructions and then she left for home. I was on my own....knowing mostly how to email. My husband never touched the computer...it was up to me. He really suffered with this cancer...he had to have most of his tongue removed, so he was very quiet from then on. He was loosing weight, so he had a feeding tube. I was his nurse at home. He would sit in his recliner and the IV stand was next to him. He watched TV or slept most of the time. When he couldn't sleep at night, I would say, "We can sleep anytime, we'll just stay up till you're tired." I didn't think about myself much in those days. All the attention was on him and trying to get him well again. The disease really brought us closer. We were both scared.We were in this together and we would win....was what we thought at first. So, there we were, him in his chair and me, many times passing the nights away on the computer. I found myself reading two blogs. One, and I can't remember the name, was written by a young woman who was pregnant. The blog took me through her pregnancy each day. The other was written by an Englishman...a poet. My daughter kind of chuckled when she heard that I was reading blogs. I could look into someone else's life and see their happiness. I would look forward to their next post.The nights were long and it was the loneliest time of my life. Here I was with my sick husband in the room across from me...he, not communicating and me trying to be quiet, so he could sleep. I started emailing people and got many inspirational things and loving letters from so many. I could read the jokes that people sent...sometimes I would copy things and give them to him to read. I think the computer kept me sane, and reading those blogs let me know that life was still going on for other people. They were happy and maybe we would be again someday.We continued on like that for a year. He finally was hospitalized and then in hospice care and he slowly passed away. We all have trying times in our lives...And I don't think it could have been worse for us. I think that those blogs were so helpful for me. I read about a baby being born to a young woman... and remembered better times, when I was in the same situation. The poet brought me pleasure...as I have always loved poetry. I just thought that maybe this could help someone who reads, who may be experiencing the same things that I did. Blogs are a good way to express our thoughts and maybe help someone along the way.

Thankfully my life has changed. I am remarried to a great guy. We were both married to our previous spouses for close to 50 yrs. They passed away within weeks of each other. We both were lonely and wanted to find someone to share our lives with. It really can happen again....after so much pain and sorrow...you can find happiness.

Balisha