Joe and I Christmas Shop at the Mall

The poem came to me in an email this morning. I thought it was so appropriate for this time of year. After gray Thursday, black Friday, and cyber Monday..I am weary of hearing and reading about the insanity of this time of year for some. Shopping isn't as much fun as it used to be for me. I realize I'm "old" and maybe not the best one to talk about this, but I feel that I'm as good as anyone to give my two cents worth.
This mad house shopping is for the younger set. Last year I felt that maybe one day of shopping at the mall would be fun...here's my story.

 Joe and I had finished our Christmas shopping except for a few small items...mostly online and orders from speciality stores. We decided to take a day and visit the mall and eat a nice Christmas lunch in one of our favorite restaurants. We got to the mall and found that we could park right up front...(we have a handicap placard) The day was brisk and we were dressed in layers, so we could take things off... if it was warm. We entered the mall and proceeded to walk through the store to the entrance to the grand court. We passed the women's clothing department with scantily clad manikins...some were headless...past the perfume sprayers just ready to get you... and out into the heart of the mall. The crowd out there was huge...young people on their phones as they walked, mom's with babies in strollers, teens walking backward, helpless men.....searching for that perfect gift (with a deer in the headlights look on their faces) At the center of the mall was where we wanted to be...the giant house where Santa lived with his elves. A bedraggled Santa was there with his elf photographer snapping picture after picture of happy and crying kids with runny noses. We had hoped for a bench to sit on, but sadly there were not many... and the people who were sitting there, seemed to have taken ownership...some even spreading out a picnic for themselves on the bench. We stood there for a while and watched the scene.A mother struggling with her screaming child to get that perfect picture. We looked  at each other...reading the other's mind. We turned at the same moment and headed as fast as two old folks could go. I never saw Joe move so fast before....heading for the nearest exit. As we left the mall....Jingle Bells and laughter could be heard in the background. Whew, we made it to the car and carefully backed out and headed for Chili's. We entered the restaurant and were greeted by the hostess who took us to our booth and we both collapsed and broke out laughing. I guess that Christmas shopping at the mall is something for the younger set. I'm not such an old fogey really....I have such youthful intentions. I love to see younger folks having a good time...truth be told..I really want to be right there with them, but I know my limitations and sadly the mall at Christmas isn't for me any longer.I am content to shop at little speciality stores a few miles from home where I can find wonderful gifts. I have to pay a little more, but I don't have to fight the crowds. Our little town has a Miracle on 2nd Street coming up on Friday. Our small businesses need our help, especially this year. So, I will be supporting the small businesses in my area.....and when we go to Rockford, and pass the mall, I'll smile a bit and think of all the fun the younger people are having....and maybe a little envy will creep into my thinking, but just for a moment.
Balisha


'Twas The Month Before Christmas

'Twas the month before Christmas, and all through the store,
Each department was dripping with Yuletide decor.
The Muzak was blaring an out-of-tune carol,
And the fake snow was falling on "Ladies' Apparel."
I'd flown many miles from the North Pole this day,
To check on reports which had caused me dismay.
I'd come to this store for but one special reason,
To see for myself what went on this Season.
I hid in a corner and in a short while,
I saw the Store President march down the aisle.
He shouted an order to "Turn the store tree on!"
And also the "NOEL" in blinking pink neon.
Up high, grandly hanging from twin gold supports,
Four hundred pink angels flew over "Men's Shorts."
And towering over the Rear Mezzanine,
A 90-foot Day Glo "Nativity Scene."
The clock on the wall said two minutes to Nine,
The floorwalkers proudly all stood in line.
I watched while the President smelled their carnations,
Then called out his final command - "Man Your Stations!"
When out on the street there arose such a roar,
It rang to the rafters and boomed through the store.
It sounded exactly like street-repair drilling,
Or maybe another big Mafia killing.
I looked to the doors, and there banging glass,
Was a clamoring, shrieking, hysterical mass.
And I felt from the tone of each scream and each curse,
That the "Spirit Of Christmas" had changed for the worse.
The clock it struck Nine, and the door opened wide,
And that great human avalanche thundered inside.
More fearsome than Sherman attacking Atlanta
Came parents and kiddies with just one goal - "Santa!!"
In front stormed the mothers, all brandishing handbags,
As heavy and deadly as 20 pound sandbags.
With gusto they swung them, the better to smash ears,
Of innocent floorwalkers, buyers, and cashiers.
Egged on by their parents, the kids had one aim,
To get to the man who was using my name.
They mobbed him and mauled him, the better to plead,
For the presents they sought in their hour of greed.
The President watched with a gleam in his eye,
As he thought of the toys that the parents would buy.
Of all Christmas come-ons, this crowd would attest,
That a visit to "Santa" was clearly the best.
It was all too much for my soul to condone,
And I let out a most unprofessional moan.
The crowd turned around, and I'll say for their sake,
That they knew in an instant I wasn't fake.
"I've had it," I told them, "with fast-buck promoting,
With gimmicks and come-ons and businessmen gloating.
This garish display of commercialized greed,
Is so very UN-Christmas, it makes my heart bleed!"